Fiendish
by The Qilin
Summary: PWP. Threesome. Oneshot. "It's not like they hadn't done it before. Maybe five times, on and off. He likes sleeping with Allen, and he's sure Allen doesn't mind it. They remained friends and that was the end of the story. Was it a secret? They thought it was. Unless Kanda knows something he doesn't."


_Characters: Lavi, Kanda, Allen_  
_Warnings: M/M/M, swearing, violence, rough handling, oral, double penetration_  
_Author's Note: this is an attempt of making an age old pairing more to my liking. Yes, it's been done before but the characterization always bugged me. This is more of PWP than some of my other stuff and I half like and half hate what I've written. The ending especially bothers me. However I hope readers will still enjoy this._

* * *

**Fiendish**

Kanda broke something.

Usually it didn't matter. He's always breaking things and no one cares, so as long as it was repairable. Today, yes. He broke the lock of a door, proceeded to try to kick it down, fail, and then proceeded to curse Komui. Loudly. Until Allen tells him to shut up and conversation disintegrates from there.

Lavi fiddles with the door of this spacious storage room. He's picked a few locks in his lifetime, and he's sure that Allen has as well, and between the two of them, they might be able to open this door

…that is, if Allen currently weren't going toe-to-to with Kanda at the moment.

This is stupid, but he sits down next to the door. "Aren't we such good friends?"

"No, we're not." Allen rubs a bruised cheek while Kanda fixes it hair. At least they've stopped fighting. "I thought you were working on the door?"

"I can't. It shocked me."

Of course, at this point, Kanda tries to cut through it, and finds this one of the areas that doesn't allow for Innocence. Komui takes his precautions…sometimes. Like today. There's no point in Allen trying to break it down with his Innocence, powerful or not powerful. Conveniently, they had no golems either; everything was in for routine maintenance. And Timcanpy? In Allen's room.

Kanda looks as if he wants to go back to kicking the door. Lavi suggesting looking around. Allen jumps up at this. They end up wandering for a good fifteen minutes and find nothing useless.

"I know they keep strange things around, but this is…normal." Allen pulls out a box from a shelf. "Old clothes, some papers…there's some equipment up there."

Then Kanda curses and something shatters. Lavi and Allen turn around to look at him.

"Do you break _everything_?" Allen, of course, speaks first.

"Shut _up_. I wasn't asking you." Clattering. "It was empty."

"I hope you haven't released anything invisible."

"What, like a ghost?"

"Heeey, you know there might be ghosts here."

Kanda snorts. "I have been here longer than the two of you, and there haven't been any ghosts."

"Lenalee believes in them."

"…ghosts are in China."

"Really?"

Something else clatters and they all turn.

"What was this 'no ghost' thing you were just saying, Yu?"

He gets elbowed in the gut for that. "Shut up and don't call me that."

"He's just touchy because he's missing dinner."

"Fuck off."

"No."

"Shit." Curious how no one has come looking for them yet. How did they even get here again? Oh yes, that was partially his—Lavi's—fault. He convinced them for something that most people would call a walk, and in the middle of arguing they'd ended here. He remembers a storage room the Science Department had been trying to keep him from when he was fifteen and he'd been it'd been moved here because the sign was the same.

And it hadn't been. Like Allen said, for once, something in the Order was actually ordinary. No potions to make them sound like cats or shrink them. Maybe the room was mislabelled. Of course, Lavi is going to keep silent about this matter while Kanda and Allen continue to argue about one thing or the other. He wants his neck intact.

"Could the two of you…not argue for two minutes."

"No!" Kanda.

"Yes!" Allen seems relieved.

"Moyashi—"

Lavi lets out a sort of strangled laugh. "_Please stop_."

Oddly, it works when he says please. They shot shut up.

He glances around. The room has ventilation, lighting, and…things. It could've been worse. It could've been a tiny closet. There could be Akuma. It's not really that bad a place to be locked in. The Bookman Junior sits, and the other two follow suit.

"Do you have any suggestions for what we do except wander, sleep, or twiddle our thumbs?" Allen brushes at his bangs and picks lint from his sleeve.

"A game?"

"No games."

"That's fine, _Yu_ can sit out of it."

"You stupid rabbit—"

Allen intervenes. "I spy?"

"No, that gets boring too quickly." Lavi rules it out.

"I don't have cards on me…"

"How about 'never have I ever'?"

Allen considers this. "I suppose it's a fair game." You couldn't cheat, unless you lied. Even so… "what should the consequences be?"

Lavi gets a gleam in his eye. "Well, Mister Walker," he says slowly, "since you're the master of poker, you must be used to stripping people down."

"You can't be serious." Kanda still has not sat down.

"That's all right; you don't have to play." Allen cracks his knuckles. "Because you would've lost first."

Lavi blinks when he is shoved aside and Kanda sits down. "Not if I strip you _first_."

"Now, fancy that happening." Allen's smile as dark as the day he was in the Ark, fighting Jasdevi. "We not stopping at underwear, Kanda. And if you lose, you forfeit your hairtie."

"Done. And if you lose…" Kanda pauses. "You have to do whatever I tell you to do for the next half hour."

They shake hands. Lavi could've shed a tear at this momentous occasion. However… "What if I lose?"

Two pairs of equally menacing eyes look at him. "The eyepatch?" Kanda murmurs.

"No, how about a secret that he ought to have long ago revealed about us, but never has."

"…Che. It works."

"I—" Lavi waves his hands. "Fine, one secret."

He has no plans to lose. And if he does, he has one trick up his sleeve…

**_-|||:|||-_**

"Never have I ever gotten another person drunk the same time as me."

Lavi sheds his wristband. Kanda scowls, but tosses his bracelet in the ever-growing pile. And Allen sits smugly, sans only his ribbon, gloves, boots and gloves. Lavi has forfeited the aforementioned wristband, his shirt, socks and shoes. Kanda still retains all his clothing except footwear, his jacket, and the bracelet.

It's hard to tell who's winning. Lavi keeps counts in his head, but at this point, winning is still up in the air. He considers the next question to pose.

"Never have I ever…" _think, Lavi_. "gotten lost on a mission."

_Hah_.

Allen unbuttons his shirt, reluctantly. "Are you _sure_ you haven't?"

"Quite." His smile was very wide.

Next to them, Kanda is muttering words under his breath as he removes his own shirt.

There, now the odds were evened out a bit, and Lavi had more of a chance.

**_-|||:|||-_**

"No."

"Give it up, Kanda."

"Asshole." His fingers are inching towards Mugen.

The Bookman apprentice waves his hands. "Fine, fine! We'll give you one more chance. Allen?"

Allen folds his arms. He might be in his underwear, but he looks the most dignified out of the three of them. Must be the hair. "Then we'll have to change something else."

"Else?"

"Of course. Kanda has to do something else. He's giving up his hairtie _and_ he'll have to do whatever I tell him to do. For the next _hour_. That's the only way it would be fair."

"Fuck you, moyashi."

Allen is unfazed. "Oh, I don't think that'll happen today."

Before anyone blinks, Kanda has stood up, drawn his sword, slashed Allen's shirt to pieces, sheathed his sword, and sat down. It's just like breathing for him.

Lavi and Allen gape at him like fish.

"Fine. I agree to that."

"You—you—"

"It's just a shirt…" Lavi attempts to console him.

Allen still is still staring at the shreds. "I liked that shirt."

The redhead cautiously pats his back. "...should we get on with this?" Why were they playing in the first place? Something about waiting? What has it even turned into.

"Who's turn was it?"

"Mine." Before anyone protests, Kanda folds his arms. "Never have I ever played this stupid ass game with two idiots. There."

"Hey—"

"You—"

Kanda merely waits, hand resting on Mugen.

Well, fuck. None of this was fair to begin with, in any case. Lavi unceremoniously pulls off his underwear, while Allen viciously does, glaring daggers at Kanda.

"There. Satisfied?"

"Che."

"Now what?" Lavi ventures to ask. Maybe this had gotten out of hand. What if someone comes looking for them—?

"You reveal a secret."

"About that." His gaze slides to one side. "Can I suck you off instead?"

"_What_." Allen forgets to look mad.

"No." Kanda points. "You can suck _him_ off."

"You bast—"

"Half an hour."

"Ugh." Allen makes a face but he shrug. A loss was a loss. He's already lost a shirt and he doesn't seem to want to lose any more articles of clothing. He sits down and looks at Lavi.

It's not like they hadn't done it before. Maybe five times, on and off. He likes sleeping with Allen, and he's sure Allen doesn't mind it. They remained friends and that was the end of the story.

Was it a secret? They thought it was. Unless Kanda knows something he doesn't. Lavi knees in front of Allen, glancing up at the dark-haired Exorcist sitting there, expression neutral.

"Get to it."

"Fine, fine," he mutters, bending. Allen leans back on his elbows and parts his legs as Lavi takes the tip. He swirls his tongue gently over the head, sets his teeth there, and tugs. His fingers trace down to the base, lingering over testicles. Allen barely moves; only his quick intake of breath lets Lavi know of any reaction.

He bobs his head, sucking slowly as arousal grows, for both him and Allen. He tastes the first fluid and swallows it down. A glance over at Kanda lets him know he's affected as well.

"This is a nice punishment, Kanda," Allen, don't you have enough sense not to taunt him?

"It's not over."

"Will be if you…don't do anything." The white-haired Exorcist exhales sharply. "You look…uncomfortable."

"Uncomfortable?" Kanda calmly leans over and pushes his fingers into Allen's mouth. "Suck on that. And no biting," he adds.

"Mmphl." Allen rolls his eyes before complying.

The sucking continues. Lavi is feeling quite ignored and he puts his hand to his erection.

"Oi." His hand gets pushed away.

"Yu~" He half-pleads. Allen makes a sound; vibrations are none to kind to him at this point.

A small canister of something is placed in his hand. "Make yourself useful."

"Hey!" Allen jerks his neck back. He's flushed and shaking, with dilated eyes and warm skin. "Here? Now?"

"You don't seem to have a problem with it during other times."

Lavi stops and lifts his head. "Are you saying the two of you have done this before?"

Both Kanda and Allen look at him. "It's not like you weren't, either," Kanda flatly tells him.

"I—" All right, the record's more like five times with Allen, and more than fifteen times with Kanda. They never spoke about it. Never mentioned it anywhere. It's simply something that happens. They met, they fucked—sometimes Lavi, sometimes Kanda—they'd sleep, and then in the morning it's back to business. Like a need that was met. Lavi makes no mention of it anywhere in records.

But this is quite new. Maybe they were just bored.

Allen nudges him with his foot. "Are you going to leave me hanging here?"

"Maybe we should." Lavi raises an eyebrow. It's too easy to egg a person on when you know they can't back down from a challenge. "Yu?"

"I told you not to call me that." But he offers Lavi a crushing kiss that forces him back. Kanda is all passion at these times, quite impatient too (someday Lavi plans on working on that. He doesn't get to tease him often, forcing him to edge until he's pleading). He's finally pushing down and off his underwear, his stiff cock pressed up against Lavi's. Lavi spreads himself flat; he needs to do nothing, for Kanda touches, licks, bites and sucks him freely.

He flashes a sort of smile at Allen. "So you—get this too? Ah!" Kanda's probably left a hicky somewhere.

Allen makes a sort of frustrated sound. "Kanda!"

"Shut up. I'm busy." Kanda is pumping his and Lavi's erections together with his hands.

"But you should at least take a _look_."

They look.

Allen's found that little container (hell, why is Kanda even carrying oil around?) and applied it generously to his fingers, and was now pushing them into his passage. Slowly. With his legs spread and facing them. His left hand in the meantime is tracing his chest and rubbing over peaked nipples.

You couldn't really ignore it.

But Kanda does. He arches against Lavi and grunts. "I'm not done here."

"S-suit yourself." Three fingers were plunging in and out.

"Nngh." Lavi feels as if he's missed out something important. Here is Allen, offering himself up, and Kanda is still grinding against him. But he won't be complaining; he pulls Kanda forward for another kiss, and wonders how long he'll last.

"_Hn_." A look over at Allen lets him see five fingers burying into himself, with his other hand encircling the base of his erection, preventing a climax. Just how much control does he have?

"Yu—" Lavi breaks their kiss and tugs Kanda forward to whisper in his ear. "Got an idea."

A very good idea.

The gleam that comes and goes in Kanda's eyes tells him he likes it. He pulls away from Lavi and then yanks Allen up.

"What are you doing?"

Kanda shoves him towards Lavi. "You're ready, aren't you."

Allen give a long-suffering sigh, he straddle Lavi, and slowly sits down, pushing the erection into him. Lavi pulls the Exorcist to himself as they start to move together, Lavi keeping a hand on himself to prevent slipping out. Meanwhile, Kanda kneels there and squeezes an oiled finger into Allen.

"Ah…you're not serious." Allen swallows audibly as he looks back.

"Not man enough?"

"This isn't about being man. It's about being sensible."

"I've heard it's possible."

"I bet you can't."

"Maybe I can and maybe I can't. But I'm asking you." Kanda twists the finger and it makes both Allen and Lavi moan. The thought of another heated cock against his, while it was already being squeezed…was tempting.

Allen clicks his teeth together. "Go ahead."

Lavi blows his hair out of his face. "Allen, you don't have to—"

"I'll tell you to stop when I want to stop," he grunts. Kanda, surprisingly, takes his time. Lavi and Allen are little more than a mess when he finally beings to insert himself.

The white hair exorcist squirms and bites down on his lip, but makes no other sounds. Not until Kanda starting to roll his hips. Then he begins to push back.

Fuck. It's an overall good sensation, warmth tightly all around him and another erection. They move together at various paces, but with each jerk and push, Allen is slowly being worn down. He curses and his hands scratch at Lavi. Kanda is only a little less vocal. Lavi simply moans. He is the first to come, forcefully shuddering. Kanda follows, his nails leaving red marks in Allen's skin while his release mixes with Lavi's. Somehow, Allen is last; fluid drips between him and Lavi, but before he collapses, he twists and yanks Kanda's hairtie.

"What the fuck—"

Allen grins at him cheekily. "Now it's fair." He crumbles it in his hand and keeps it just out of Kanda's grasp.

"_Moyashi!_" Kanda pulls out, Lavi follows suit. What the hell, they've only just come down and they're back to fighting. Naked fighting and it was quite a sight.

The Bookman Junior lies back as he listens to the bickering. It'd be quite bad if anyone should walk upon them this very instant.

"Say, Allen," he comments.

"Little—busy here." Oh dear, he's pulling Kanda's hair.

"Did you do all that just for a chance to steal his hairtie?"

"Maybe." Allen flashes a grin at him before Kanda pins him down and pries the cord from Allen's fist.

"Bastard."

"I was intending to wash it and give it back—"

"Liar."

"—to _Lenalee_."

Silence.

Lavi's laughter fills the room. "You're serious?"

"Yes, he steals Lenalee's. She complained to me how she always has to keep buying them." It looks as if Allen doesn't even care when Kanda shoves his face against the ground.

Fancy that. No wonder Kanda has an inexhaustible supply of hairties.

Allen lies down next to him, wheezing. "I may be dying."

"That's your own fault."

"You damn moyashi." Kanda neatly does his hair again and shoves Allen one more time before he also sits. They must make a sight—clothes strewn everywhere, stark naked, with an unmistakable smell of sex lingering.

"So," Lavi stares up at the high ceiling. "When do you think they'll find us?"

Someone's stomach growls; they look at Allen, who puts a hand over his abdomen. "Soon, I hope."

"Tch."


End file.
